Books书 When You Forget, I'll Remember你忘了,我记得

When You Forget, I'll Remember你忘了,我记得

Chapter 6. Everything Is Numbers第六章 一切都是数字

A manga for grown-ups. Read it in English or Chinese.给大人看的漫画。可以用中文或英文读。

THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Dusk in Edinburgh in autumn, the last grey-blue light over the sea in the tall sash window, the reading lamp on the shelf already on and warm. Xiaoyu, thirteen, in her faded sky-blue hoodie, sits cross-legged on the tartan blanket of the single bed, turned three-quarters to us, holding the silver tablet in its grey cover up in both hands with its screen towards HER, so WE see only the plain grey back of its cover; the screen's warm glow lights her face from below, and she smiles at Grandpa on it, whom we do not see. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist (the viewer's right). On the cream wall to the right of the window, the big cream sheet of her word map, pinned with four red pins, covered in pencil dots and faint lines with blank spaces beside them, NO letters. Xiaoyu's face is the focal point, lit from below by the screen, quiet and glad. The dim wall and ceiling above the window are the quiet area for the title.
Chapter 6第六章Everything Is Numbers一切都是数字
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. A Tuesday morning in late September in Edinburgh, 7.15, the sky in the tall sash window just going from dark blue to grey over the sea and the harbour cranes, the lamp over the round table on and warm. Xiaoyu in her school uniform sits at the round wooden table, a plate of toast in front of her, the silver tablet stood up in its grey cover, its screen facing her (we see only its grey back and a warm glow). Mama, in her oatmeal jumper and slippers, stands at the worktop on the left filling the white kettle, her back half to us. Calm and ordinary. The high pale-green wall and ceiling are the quiet area.
Edinburgh, September 2028. Grandpa lived seven hours away, inside Mama's tablet.爱丁堡,二〇二八年九月。外公在七个钟头以外,住在妈妈的平板里。
My breakfast was his afternoon tea.我这边吃早饭,他那边正好下午喝茶。
On the tablet screen, Bridge City at 2.15 in the afternoon, warm gold light. Grandpa Chen, seen a little from below as Auntie Zhang's phone sees him, in his grey cardigan, glasses on their cord at his chest, waves one hand as he tells a story, eyes bright with mischief, mouth wide; his glass cabinet and the cream wall behind him. His face in the middle of the screen. The lower third of the screen is his cardigan and is the quiet area.
‹Old Wu took my knight. Then he said he never touched it!›老吴吃了我的马,还说他没碰!
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey early light from the window behind her, the warm lamp above. Xiaoyu laughs with a mouthful of toast, chin on her RIGHT hand, her black watch on her LEFT wrist on the table; she looks to the LEFT, at the tablet off panel. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her school jumper and the table below are the quiet area.
‹So what did you do?›那你怎么办?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey early morning, lamplight on the table. Over Xiaoyu's shoulder (her ponytail and the back of her navy jumper at the bottom left, her face NOT seen), the tablet fills the middle of the panel. On its screen Grandpa's face has STOPPED halfway through a word, mouth open, one hand raised, and the picture has broken into a few big blurry squares of warm brown and cream, his eyes still just there. Xiaoyu's RIGHT forefinger touches the screen. The dim kitchen wall and the dark window above the tablet are the quiet area.
‹I said, you old—›我说,你个老——
He stopped halfway through a word. His face came apart into squares.他一个字说了一半,停住了。脸碎成了一个个小方块。
1
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey early morning, lamplight. Xiaoyu leans in close, frightened, looking to the RIGHT at the tablet at the panel's right edge, her lips parted. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her shoulders below are the quiet area.
‹Grandpa?›外公?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey early morning. The tablet in its grey cover on the round table, its screen now plain dark grey with one small round white symbol in the middle, NO letters; a crust of toast beside it on the plate. Still and empty.
Call ended通话已结束
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, the grey morning brightening in the window over the sea behind her. Xiaoyu sits very still with her eyes SHUT, her hands flat on the table either side of her plate, listening hard to nothing. Her face in profile in the middle of the panel, turned to the LEFT. The grey sky in the window above her is the quiet area.
I shut my eyes to hear him finish. I could see his face. I couldn't hear his voice.我闭上眼睛,想听他把话说完。他的脸我还看得见,声音却想不起来了。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey morning, the lamp still on. Mama in her long navy raincoat, her bag on her shoulder and her keys in one hand, stands at the hall door on the right of the kitchen and looks LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel, brisk but gentle. Her face in the middle of the panel. The plain wall above her is the quiet area.
Bus, love. You'll be late.快去坐车,要迟到了。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey morning. Xiaoyu has stood up from the table, her dark blue backpack in her LEFT hand, her black watch on that wrist, and looks RIGHT at Mama off panel, pleading. Her face in the middle of the panel. The window behind her above is the quiet area.
Can we call him again tonight?今晚能再给他打吗?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey morning, the lamp on behind them. At the kitchen door Mama, in her navy raincoat, rests one hand on Xiaoyu's head, tired and tender, looking down at her; Xiaoyu, in her uniform with her backpack on one shoulder, looks down at the floor. Two faces in the middle band of the panel. The tall plain door frame and wall above them are the quiet area.
Eight tonight is three in the morning there, sweetheart.宝贝,咱们这儿晚上八点,那边是半夜三点。
2
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Mid-morning in Edinburgh, rain running down the tall windows on the left, grey harbour light, the classroom lights on. Ms Rennie, tall in her bottle-green cardigan, her white mug in one hand, has drawn a square grid of three by three on the whiteboard and filled the middle column in black; the squares are drawn, NO numbers or letters. A few pupils sit with their backs to us, small; Xiaoyu sits at the window desk in the third row, her head turned to the board, her face in three-quarter, small but clear. The top of the whiteboard and the wall above are the quiet area.
I had to hear him every day, before I forgot his voice.我得天天听见他,趁我还没忘了他的声音。
To a computer, a picture is a grid of tiny dots. And every dot is a number.在电脑眼里,一张图就是一格格小点。每个点是一个数。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Mid-morning, flat grey light on the whiteboard. The three by three grid fills the panel: in each row a white square, a black square and a white square, drawn in black marker; beside it, blank white board. NO numbers or letters painted.
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Mid-morning, grey rainy light from the windows on the left lighting one side of her face. Ms Rennie, marker in hand, turns from the board to look RIGHT at the class, delighted, peering over her round tortoiseshell glasses, the pencil stuck through her curly grey-blond hair. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her green cardigan below is the quiet area.
Nought is black. Two hundred and fifty-five is white. That's all a photo is.0是黑,255是白。照片说到底就是这些。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Mid-morning, rain on the window, grey harbour light on her face. Xiaoyu sits at her desk, chin on her LEFT hand, her black watch on that wrist, and looks out of the rainy window on the LEFT; in the glass, faint like a reflection, Grandpa's frozen face from the call, broken into big soft squares of warm brown and cream. Xiaoyu's face in the middle right of the panel, Grandpa's faint face in the middle left. The grey sky at the top of the window is the quiet area.
His face was only numbers. None of them said "Grandpa".他的脸只是一串数。没有一个数叫"外公"。
PIXELS. A photo is a grid of tiny dots called pixels. Each dot is a number, from 0 for black to 255 for white.像素。照片是一格一格的小点,叫"像素"。每个点是一个数,0是黑,255是白。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Late morning, the class gone, grey light from the rainy windows behind her. Xiaoyu stands at the front with her backpack on one shoulder and looks up and to the RIGHT at Ms Rennie off panel, a little shy, a little urgent. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her navy jumper below is the quiet area.
Then why did my grandpa's face break into squares? On our call?那我外公的脸,打视频的时候怎么碎成方块了?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Late morning, grey rainy light. Ms Rennie sits on the edge of her desk with her white mug in both hands, looking down and to the LEFT at Xiaoyu, kind, with a dry little smile. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her cardigan and mug below are the quiet area.
The line was too slow for all his numbers. Come to coding club. Thursdays.网太慢,他那么多数送不过来。来编程社吧,星期四。
3
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Tuesday evening in Edinburgh, the window black over the harbour lights, the lamp over the table warm and low. Mama, in her oatmeal jumper, sits at the round table holding her own phone flat in her palm, listening to a voice message, her face falling. Xiaoyu, in her sky-blue hoodie, leans on the table beside her to listen. Papa, huge in his navy cable-knit jumper, stands at the cooker on the left with a wooden spoon, half turned to listen. Three faces in the middle band. The dark window and ceiling above are the quiet area.
‹After the call he sat by the door all afternoon. Waiting for "the little girl in the phone".›打完电话,他在门口坐了一下午,说等"手机里那个小姑娘"。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh evening, warm lamplight on her face, the black window behind. Mama puts the phone face down on the table and looks RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel, sad and firm, her mouth set. Her face in the middle of the panel. The table and her hands below are the quiet area.
After each call he waits by the door for days. So we call on Sundays only, and I'll sit with you.每回打完,他都要在门口等好几天。以后只星期天打,妈妈陪你。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh evening, warm lamplight, the dark window behind. Xiaoyu, in her sky-blue hoodie, has stood up and looks LEFT at Mama, angry and close to tears, fists by her sides. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her hoodie below is the quiet area.
Then call him more, so he doesn't have to wait!那就多打啊,他就不用等了!
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh evening, the lamp low over the table, the black window behind. Papa has come over from the cooker and rests one big hand on Mama's shoulder, looking down at her, gentle; Mama, sitting, looks down at her phone on the table, her hand over her eyes for a moment. Two faces in the middle band. The dark window above them is the quiet area.
Hui. She misses him.慧,孩子想外公。
So do I. That's why.我也想。所以才这样。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Night in Edinburgh, the tall window dark blue with a few harbour lights far below, the reading lamp on the shelf making one warm pool. Xiaoyu sits alone on the edge of the single bed with the red-and-green tartan blanket, small in the room, her knees drawn up, looking at the window. The bare cream wall to the right of the window is empty. Her face small, in three-quarter, in the middle of the panel. The dark wall and ceiling above are the quiet area.
Papa got the little room ready for Grandpa to come and live with us. Grandpa never came. I went there to be alone.爸爸把小屋收拾好,等外公来住。外公一直没来。我想一个人待着,就去那儿。
4
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Saturday morning in Edinburgh, nine o'clock, flat grey light from the window. Xiaoyu, in her sky-blue hoodie, sits on the bed with her back against the wall, holding her pale-blue phone up in both hands, its screen facing her, a little guilty, glancing once at the closed door. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Her face in the middle of the panel. The cream wall above her is the quiet area.
Saturday. Mama had gone to the shops. I called Auntie Zhang's phone.星期六,妈妈去超市了。我偷偷打了张阿姨的手机。
On the phone screen, Bridge City at four in the afternoon, warm gold light through the balcony doors. Grandpa, seen a little from below, beams into the phone, his glasses on their cord, his grey cardigan, delighted. His face in the middle of the screen. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Huihui! Home from school already?›慧慧!放学啦?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey Saturday morning light. Xiaoyu holds the phone up at the RIGHT edge of the panel and leans towards it, eager and too quick. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her hoodie below is the quiet area.
‹It's Xiaoyu, Grandpa. Remember the toast I gave at your birthday?›外公,我是小雨。你过生日那天,我给你念的祝酒词,记得吗?
On the phone screen, Bridge City, warm gold four o'clock light. Grandpa's smile has gone uncertain; his eyes slide away to one side, searching, one hand rising towards the RIGHT pocket of his cardigan where his notebook is. His face in the middle of the screen. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹A toast... Whose birthday?›祝酒……谁过生日啊?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey Saturday light. Xiaoyu grips the phone harder, pushing, her eyebrows up, not yet seeing what she is doing. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her hoodie below is the quiet area.
‹And the cards? With Papa? Ka-lun! You remember Ka-lun!›那打牌呢?跟爸爸?卡伦!你记得卡伦的!
On the phone screen, Bridge City, warm gold four o'clock light. Grandpa has drawn back from the phone, frightened, his small red notebook out of his RIGHT cardigan pocket and open in his hands, not looking at it; his eyes on the phone, lost. On the right, Auntie Zhang in her plum-red blouse leans into the picture, her kind face worried, one hand on his shoulder. Two faces in the middle band of the screen. The cream wall above them is the quiet area.
‹Who is this? Where's Huihui?›这是谁啊?慧慧呢?
‹Xiaoyu, that's enough for today. I'm hanging up, all right?›小雨,今天就到这儿吧,阿姨先挂了啊。
5
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Saturday, just before noon in Edinburgh, flat grey light, rain on the window. Mama has come in from the shops in her wet navy raincoat, two cloth shopping bags dropped at her feet, her phone in her hand, angry and frightened; Xiaoyu, in her sky-blue hoodie, stands by the round table and cannot look at her. Two faces in the middle band. The window and wall above are the quiet area.
He sat by the door till dark, Xiaoyu. Asking who the girl was.他在门口一直坐到天黑,小雨。一直问那个小姑娘是谁。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey noon light. Xiaoyu, head bowed, eyes full, mumbles to the LEFT at Mama off panel, her hands pulling at the cuffs of her hoodie. Her face in the middle of the panel, tilted down. Her hoodie below is the quiet area.
I only wanted him to remember me.我就是想让他记起我。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, grey noon light. Mama has crouched to Xiaoyu's height, still in her raincoat, and looks RIGHT and up into her face, her anger gone soft. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her raincoat below is the quiet area.
Every question he can't answer scares him. Don't test him, sweetheart.每个答不上来的问题,都让他害怕。别考他了,宝贝。
Bridge City at dusk, the light off in the flat, the last orange glow coming through the balcony doors behind us and laying a long gold stripe across the floor. Grandpa sits on a low stool just inside his front door with its metal security gate, in his grey cardigan, his hands on his knees, waiting, looking at the door. One small figure in a big quiet room. The dark ceiling and walls above are the quiet area.
Seven hours away, he waited by the door with the light off.七个钟头以外,他坐在门口等,灯也没开。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Saturday night in Edinburgh, the window black, only the glow of the phone. Xiaoyu lies on the bed in the wee room, her phone held above her face; over her shoulder we see the screen, a plain chat with one pale bubble on the right that she sent, NO letters painted. Her face below the phone, small, in profile at the bottom left; the phone in the middle. The dark wall above is the quiet area.
My friend Haoran in Bridge City hadn't written back since last October. Lili said his dad made him study every night.桥城的朋友浩然,从去年十月起就没回过我。丽丽说,他爸天天晚上逼他念书。
Grandpa called me Huihui again today. Read外公今天又叫我慧慧了。 已读
6
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday after school in Edinburgh, half past three, the rain stopped and a low silver light over the harbour in the windows on the left. Only four or five pupils, small, with their backs to us at laptops. Xiaoyu sits at her window desk with her small dark grey laptop open, its screen facing her; on it, seen at an angle, an eight by eight board of black and white squares. Ms Rennie strolls down the row behind her with her mug. Xiaoyu's face in three-quarter in the middle of the panel. The pale wall above the windows is the quiet area.
Coding club. 64 numbers made a chessboard.编程社。六十四个数,变成了一张棋盘。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday afternoon, silver light from the windows. Ms Rennie bends over the desk with her mug, looking down and LEFT at Xiaoyu's screen, pleased, a dry grin. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her cardigan and mug below are the quiet area.
Very nice. Next week, bring something from home to turn into numbers.不错。下礼拜从家里带样东西来,咱们把它变成数。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday afternoon, silver light. Xiaoyu holds up her pale-blue phone in her RIGHT hand towards Ms Rennie off panel to the RIGHT, her black watch on her LEFT wrist on the desk. Her face in the middle of the panel. The desk below is the quiet area.
Can it be a voice? I've got one from my grandpa. Eight seconds.声音行吗?我有一条外公的语音,八秒。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. The next Thursday after school, silver-grey light. Over Xiaoyu's shoulder (left) and Ms Rennie's (right, bending), the laptop screen in the middle of the panel shows a picture of a sound: a dark blue field with soft bands of orange and yellow rising and falling like low hills from left to right, brighter low down, fainter higher up; NO letters, NO numbers, NO axes. Neither face seen, only the backs of their heads. The pale wall above the screen is the quiet area.
SOUND. A microphone measures the air thousands of times a second, often 16,000 times for speech, and each measurement is a number. Drawn as a picture of which notes are loud, listening becomes a kind of looking.声音。麦克风每秒量好几千次空气的振动,录说话常常是一秒一万六千次,每量一次就是一个数。再把每一刻哪些音最响画成一张图,听就差不多变成了看。
That's his voice as a picture. Low notes at the bottom, high ones at the top.这就是他的声音,变成了一张图。低音在下,高音在上。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday afternoon, the windows going dusky blue, the classroom lights on. Xiaoyu sits back from the laptop with one white wired earphone in her LEFT ear, her phone in her lap, eyes down, listening to the same eight seconds again, her face tired and sad. Her face in the middle of the panel. The dusky window above is the quiet area.
I'd played those eight seconds so often, they didn't sound like him any more.那八秒钟我听了太多遍,听着已经不像他了。
7
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday night in Edinburgh, the window black, the reading lamp warm on the shelf. Xiaoyu sits cross-legged on the tartan blanket in her sky-blue hoodie with her dark grey school laptop on her knees, its screen facing her, its thistle sticker towards us, typing, determined. Her face in the middle of the panel, lit by the screen. The dark wall above is the quiet area.
So I tried a chat assistant. Everybody at school used one.于是我试了聊天助手。学校里人人都在用。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday night. The laptop screen fills the panel: a plain pale chat page with one long pale-blue box at the top right, NO letters painted.
Talk to me like my grandpa. He's 72. He taught chess in the park for forty years.你就当是我外公,跟我说话。他七十二,在公园里教了四十年棋。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday night. The same screen, now with a long pale-grey box at the left under hers, NO letters painted, and one small round smiling-face symbol at its end.
Hello, dear granddaughter! Study hard, eat well and stay healthy! Grandpa is always proud of you!亲爱的孙女,你好!好好学习,按时吃饭,身体健康!爷爷永远为你骄傲!
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday night, lamp and screen light. Xiaoyu stares at the screen, flat and unimpressed, one eyebrow down, her chin on her RIGHT fist, her black watch on her LEFT wrist on the keyboard. Her face in the middle of the panel. The dark window above her is the quiet area.
Two years before, at the birthday, Haoran had laughed at chat assistants. They write poems. They can't count.两年前过生日那天,浩然就笑过聊天助手:"会写诗,不会数数。"
TOKENS. A chat assistant never sees letters. Its text is cut into pieces called tokens, each with an ID number, and the numbers are all it gets. That is why it is oddly bad at counting letters.词元。聊天助手看不见一个个字母。文字先被切成小块,叫"词元",每块一个编号,它拿到的只有这些编号。所以数字母这种小事,它反倒老出错。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday night. The screen shows one more pale-grey box at the left, and under it one small round button with a little sound-wave symbol, NO letters painted.
Want to hear it in his own voice? Just upload a recording of him.想听他本人的声音吗?上传一段他的录音就行。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday night, the screen light narrowing to a line as Xiaoyu shuts the laptop lid with both hands, the thistle sticker towards us, her face going dark, lit now only by the lamp. Her face in the middle of the panel. The laptop and her hands below are the quiet area.
It sounded like everybody's grandpa. Not mine.像谁家的爷爷都行,就是不像我外公。
8
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. The next Thursday after school in Edinburgh, a low grey-gold light from the windows on the left. On the whiteboard Ms Rennie has drawn small round dots in a few loose clusters, with faint lines between near ones, and a blank space beside every dot, NO words. She stands by it, marker in hand, turned to the few pupils. Xiaoyu sits at the front desk now, leaning forward. Two faces small, in three-quarter, in the middle band. The top of the board and the wall above are the quiet area.
Words can be numbers too. Each one gets a place on a map.词也能变成数。每个词在地图上有个位置。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday afternoon, grey-gold light on one side of her face. Ms Rennie raises her marker like a conductor, quoting with relish, looking LEFT at the class. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her cardigan below is the quiet area.
A man called Firth said it. "You shall know a word by the company it keeps!"有个叫弗斯的人说过,"看一个词跟谁做伴,就知道它是什么意思!"
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday afternoon, grey-gold light. Xiaoyu, at the front desk, frowns up and to the RIGHT at Ms Rennie, working it out. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her desk below is the quiet area.
So it never knows what a word means? Only which words it's usually next to?那它其实不知道词是什么意思?只知道它常跟哪些词在一块儿?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday afternoon, grey-gold light. Ms Rennie leans against the whiteboard beside her clusters of dots, mug in hand, shrugging with a wry, honest smile, looking LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel. Her face in the middle of the panel. The board behind her is plain; her cardigan and mug below are where the words sit.
Some clever people think that's most of meaning. Some think it's none of it.有的聪明人说,意思大半就在这儿。也有人说,压根不是一回事。
A MAP OF WORDS. Inside a language AI, every word is a list of numbers, a place on a kind of map. Words that are used in the same way end up close together.词的地图。语言人工智能里,每个词都是一串数,就是一张地图上的一个位置。用法相近的词,位置也挨得近。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday, dusk coming early, the harbour lights coming on beyond the window, the room lights on behind her. Xiaoyu stands at the window with her backpack on one shoulder, looking LEFT out at the cranes, her face in profile, quiet, an idea arriving. Her face in the middle of the panel. The darkening sky above is the quiet area.
Then I needed a map of his words. Lots of them. Not eight seconds.那我要一张只用他的话画的地图。要他好多好多的话,不是那八秒。
9
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday evening in Edinburgh, the window dark, the lamp low and warm over the round table. Mama sits with a mug of tea in both hands, wary; Xiaoyu, in her sky-blue hoodie, stands across the table hugging her closed laptop to her chest. Two faces in the middle band. The dark window and ceiling above are the quiet area.
On Sunday, can I do the call? I won't test him. I promise.星期天能让我来打吗?我不考他。我保证。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday evening, warm lamplight. Mama looks up and to the RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel, over her mug, not convinced. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her mug and hands below are the quiet area.
Then what will you talk about?那你跟他聊什么?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday evening, warm lamplight. Xiaoyu looks LEFT and down at Mama, steady, a small hopeful smile. Her face in the middle of the panel. The laptop held to her chest below is the quiet area.
I'll ask him to teach me. He taught the whole park chess.我请他教我。整个公园的人,下棋都是他教的。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Friday evening, warm lamplight on the table. Mama looks down into her mug, and the corner of her mouth lifts, a small surprised smile, her eyes shining. Her face in the middle of the panel. The dark window above her is the quiet area.
...He'd like that.……他会喜欢的。
10
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Sunday morning in Edinburgh, nine o'clock, flat grey light from the window behind them over the sea, the lamp on. Mama and Xiaoyu sit side by side at the round table facing the tablet (its grey back to us at the bottom edge); Xiaoyu has a pencil and a sheet of plain paper in front of her and her pale-blue phone face up on the table. Papa leans in the hall doorway on the right with a mug, listening. Three faces in the middle band. The grey window and ceiling above are the quiet area.
Sunday, nine in the morning. At the lake it was four in the afternoon.星期天早上九点。湖边是下午四点。
‹Grandpa, will you teach me what your things are called?›外公,我想学几个字。你教教我,你家里的东西都叫什么?
On the tablet screen, Bridge City at four in the afternoon, warm gold light. Grandpa sits up straight in his armchair, and his whole face changes into the old chess teacher's, eyebrows up, pleased and important, one finger raised. His face in the middle of the screen. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Teach? Good. Pencil ready?›教?好啊。笔拿好了没有?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Sunday morning grey light. Xiaoyu holds her pencil up like a pupil, looking RIGHT at the tablet off panel, and with her other hand taps her phone on the table to start recording; her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Her face in the middle of the panel. The paper and phone below are the quiet area.
‹Ready. Can I record you too? So I can practise.›拿好了。我能录下来吗?好练习。
On the tablet screen, Bridge City, warm gold four o'clock light. Grandpa holds up his tall glass of green tea to the camera, the light coming through it and the tea leaves standing in it, and taps the glass with one finger, teaching. His face in the middle of the screen beside the glass. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Tea. In a glass, not a cup. So you can watch the leaves dance.›茶。用玻璃杯,不用茶杯。看得见叶子跳舞。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Sunday morning grey light. Xiaoyu bends over her sheet of paper, writing carefully, smiling to herself, her ponytail falling forward; the paper is blank in the picture. Her face in the middle of the panel, tilted down. Her hand and the table below are the quiet area.
‹Tea. Glass. Leaves dance.›茶。玻璃杯。叶子跳舞。
11
On the tablet screen, Bridge City, warm gold four o'clock light. Auntie Zhang's phone has followed Grandpa to the round folding table, where his Western chess set stands; Grandpa lifts one honey-wood knight between his finger and thumb and holds it up to the camera, mock-serious. His face in the middle of the screen, the chessboard below. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
‹Chess. This is the knight. Old Wu is always after my knight.›棋。这是马。老吴老是惦记我的马。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Sunday morning grey light. Xiaoyu grins at the tablet off panel to the RIGHT, teasing, her pencil at her chin. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her paper below is the quiet area.
‹Is Grandpa Wu still an old fool?›吴爷爷还是老糊涂吗?
On the tablet screen, Bridge City, warm gold light. Grandpa pretends to be shocked, eyebrows high, the knight still in his hand, then breaks into a wheezing laugh. His face in the middle of the screen. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Who are you calling an old fool? ...Yes. Still.›你说谁老糊涂?……嗯,还是。
On the tablet screen, Bridge City, warm gold light, the glass cabinet open beside him. Grandpa holds up a small framed black-and-white photo in both hands, facing the camera: young Meilan with her two long braids and white blouse, standing by the lake. Grandpa looks at the photo, not at us, his face gone very soft. His face in the middle of the screen beside the photo. His hands below are the quiet area.
‹This is Meilan. By the lake. Long before you.›这是美兰。在湖边。那时候还没有你呢。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Sunday morning grey light. Mama, sitting beside Xiaoyu, looks RIGHT at the tablet off panel with her fingers pressed to her lips, her eyes suddenly wet. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her jumper below is the quiet area.
Meilan was my grandma. Mama hadn't heard him say her name in a long time.美兰是我外婆。妈妈很久没听外公提她的名字了。
12
On the tablet screen, Bridge City, warm gold light lower now. Grandpa holds a small old white rice bowl with a ring of little cobalt-blue fish round it and a chip on its rim in the palm of one hand, close to the camera, and smiles at it as if it were a person. His face in the middle of the screen beside the bowl. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
‹Huihui's bowl. She ate from it after school. Now Xiaoyu does.›慧慧的碗。她放了学就拿它吃饭。现在是小雨用。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Sunday morning grey light from the window behind her. Mama turns her face away to the LEFT, laughing and crying at once, wiping one eye with the back of her hand. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her shoulder below is the quiet area.
That's my bowl.那是我的碗。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Sunday morning grey light. Xiaoyu holds still with her pencil stopped on the paper, looking RIGHT at the tablet off panel, her eyes wide and bright. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her paper below is the quiet area.
He knew me. Of all his things, he knew which bowl was mine.他记得我。他那么多东西里,他记得哪只碗是我的。
On the tablet screen, Bridge City in the late afternoon, low gold sun. Auntie Zhang's phone has followed Grandpa out onto the long shared balcony; he stands at the rail in his grey cardigan, half turned back to the camera, pointing out and down at the lake below, where the willows along the shore are turning yellow and the old stone bridge lies on the still water. His face in three-quarter in the middle of the screen. The pale gold sky above is the quiet area.
‹And this is the lake. Write it down. Lake.›这是湖。记下来。湖。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Sunday morning, the grey brightening in the window behind them. Papa has come over from the doorway and leans in over Mama's and Xiaoyu's heads with a huge grin, waving one big hand at the tablet, whose screen faces the three of them, so we see only the grey back of its cover; Mama laughs with wet eyes; Xiaoyu beams, her pencil held up. Three faces in the middle band, Papa's highest. The grey window above them is the quiet area.
‹Again!›再来!
‹Ka-lun! Next time, more words!›卡伦!下回再教!
13
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Monday morning in Edinburgh, still dark blue in the window, the lamp on over the round table. Mama, in her oatmeal jumper, holds her phone and looks up from a message at Xiaoyu, surprised and smiling; Xiaoyu, in her school uniform, stops with a piece of toast halfway to her mouth. Two faces in the middle band. The dark window above them is the quiet area.
Auntie Zhang says he didn't wait by the door. He named things for her all evening.张阿姨说,他没去门口等。一晚上都在跟她说东西叫什么。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Monday night in Edinburgh, the screen bright in the dark. The laptop screen fills the panel: a plain pale page of short lines of text written by a voice app, with a small round play button at the top, NO letters painted.
This is the tiger. Write it down. Tiger.这是虎。记下来。虎。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Monday night in Edinburgh, the reading lamp warm, the window black. Xiaoyu sits on the bed with the laptop on her knees, one white wired earphone in her LEFT ear, laughing out loud with her hand over her mouth. Her face in the middle of the panel. The laptop below is the quiet area.
With his Bridge City accent, the app heard "lake" as "tiger". I fixed every one by hand.软件把他桥城口音的"湖"听成了"虎"。我一个一个手改过来。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Thursday after school in Edinburgh, early dusk in the windows, the room lights on. Xiaoyu sits at her desk with her laptop, its screen facing her, showing a plain table of small boxes, NO letters; Ms Rennie pulls up a chair beside her, mug in one hand, pointing at the screen with the other. Two faces in the middle band. The dusky windows and wall above are the quiet area.
For every word, count which words turn up within three words of it. Those are its neighbours.每个词,数数它前后三个词里都有谁。这就是它的邻居。
REAL WORD MAPS. A real word map is learned, not counted. The computer reads billions of words, keeps guessing each word's neighbours, and nudges the numbers when it guesses wrong. Each word ends up with hundreds of numbers, a place in hundreds of directions.真正的词地图。真正的词地图是学出来的,不是数出来的。电脑读几十亿个词,一遍遍猜每个词的邻居,猜错了就把数调一点。最后每个词有几百个数,在几百个方向上各有一个位置。
14
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. A Saturday evening in October in Edinburgh, the window dark blue, the reading lamp moved onto the floor beside the paper. The big cream sheet of the word map lies on the floorboards; Xiaoyu, in her sky-blue hoodie, kneels at its edge with a pencil, putting down a dot, her open laptop beside her. The paper is covered in small pencil dots in a few loose clusters with a blank space beside each, NO letters. Her face, seen from above, in the middle band. The dark floor at the top of the panel is the quiet area.
Three Sundays. Two hundred and twelve words. I put each one near the words it kept company with.三个星期天,两百一十二个词。每个词,我都放在常跟它做伴的词旁边。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Saturday evening, warm lamplight on the paper. A close view of three pencil dots near each other on the cream paper, joined by light lines, a blank space beside each. NO letters painted.
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Saturday evening, warm lamplight. Another little cluster of three pencil dots joined by light lines, a blank space beside each. NO letters painted.
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Saturday evening, warm lamplight on the cream paper. Two pencil dots so close together they almost touch, near the middle of the sheet, with a blank space beside each; a little way off, two more dots side by side. Xiaoyu's pencil tip rests between the first two. NO letters painted.
On his word map, Huihui (Mama) and I sat almost on top of each other. Same bowl. Same "home from school already?"在他的词地图上,慧慧(妈妈)和我差不多叠在一起。同一只碗,同一句"放学啦?"
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Saturday evening in Edinburgh, the window dark blue, the lamp on the floor lighting her from below. Xiaoyu sits back on her heels at the edge of the map, her hand over her mouth, crying and smiling at once, looking down at the paper. Her face in the middle of the panel. The dark window above her is the quiet area.
He hadn't lost me. He'd put me next to Mama.他没把我弄丢。他把我放在了妈妈旁边。
15
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Sunday evening in Edinburgh, dusk blue in the window over the sea, the reading lamp on. The word map is now pinned flat on the cream wall to the right of the window with four red drawing pins, its pencil dots and faint lines, NO letters. Xiaoyu stands beside it in her sky-blue hoodie. Mama has stopped in the doorway on the right with a pile of folded washing in her arms, looking at the map. Two faces in three-quarter, in the middle band. The wall and ceiling above the map are the quiet area.
What's all this?这都是什么?
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Sunday dusk, lamplight. Xiaoyu touches two dots near the middle of the map with one fingertip and looks RIGHT at Mama off panel, earnest. Her face in the middle of the panel. The map below her hand is the quiet area.
These are his words. When he calls me Huihui, he isn't lost. On his map, Mama and I sit side by side.这是外公的话。他叫我慧慧,不是糊涂了。在他的地图上,我和妈妈挨在一起。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Sunday dusk, lamplight on her face. Mama has put the washing down on the bed and stands close to the map, touching a dot with one finger, looking at it, not at Xiaoyu, a slow smile starting. Her face in the middle of the panel. The map below is the quiet area.
When I was little and he was in a hurry, he'd call me Meilan.我小时候,他一着急,就叫我美兰。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Sunday dusk, the sea dark blue in the window, the lamp warm. Mama and Xiaoyu stand side by side before the pinned map, Mama's arm round Xiaoyu's shoulders, Xiaoyu's head against her; both faces in soft three-quarter, turned to the map, calm. Two faces in the middle band. The dark window and wall above are the quiet area.
Twice a week, then. The naming game. I'll sit with you.那就一个礼拜两回。玩叫名字的游戏。我陪你。
16
On the tablet screen, Bridge City on a Wednesday afternoon, warm gold light through the small kitchen window. Grandpa holds up the red-and-gold flowered thermos in both hands to the camera like a prize, proud. His face in the middle of the screen beside the thermos. The tiled wall above is the quiet area.
‹Thermos. Hot water for your mama's tea, ever since she was little.›暖壶。你妈还小的时候,就拿它给她泡茶。
On the tablet screen, the Bridge City stairwell in the afternoon, gold light through the landing window. Grandpa stands on the landing and points at the next door along, a plain green door, closed, his face turned back to the camera, a little puzzled. His face in the middle of the screen. The stairs below are the quiet area.
‹Haoran's door. He's never home now.›浩然家的门。他现在老不在家。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Edinburgh, Wednesday morning, still dark in the window, the lamp on. Xiaoyu's smile falters; she looks RIGHT at the tablet off panel, then away. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her school jumper below is the quiet area.
A whole year, and not one word.一整年了,一个字都没有。
Bridge City, an evening in late October, a warm lamp on in the living room, the balcony doors dark blue. Grandpa sits at the round folding table with his glass of tea, NOT by the door; he points at the radio, teaching, and Auntie Zhang, sitting beside him in her plum-red blouse, writes the word in his little red notebook for him, both of them laughing. Two faces in the middle band. The dim ceiling above the lamp is the quiet area.
Auntie Zhang said he didn't wait by the door any more. On call days he gave her homework.张阿姨说,他不去门口等了。打电话那天,他还给她留作业。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. An Edinburgh bus on a dark, rainy late-October morning, the top deck almost empty and dim, rain streaking the window and the harbour lights blurred beyond it. Xiaoyu sits by the window in her navy school jumper with her raincoat open over it, one white wired earphone in her LEFT ear, her pale-blue phone in her lap, her eyes shut, smiling a little. Her face in profile in the middle of the panel. The dark streaked window above is the quiet area.
On the bus I played his words. Tea. In a glass, not a cup. I could hear him again.坐公交的时候,我放他的话听。"茶。用玻璃杯,不用茶杯。"我又听得见他了。
17
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. A Tuesday night in mid-November in Edinburgh, ten o'clock, the window black, the word map a pale shape on the wall. Xiaoyu lies in the single bed under the tartan blanket; her pale-blue phone on the shelf beside her has just lit up, and she turns her head towards it. Her face in the middle of the panel, lit faintly blue. The dark wall above is the quiet area.
November. A message from Haoran, the first in a year.十一月。浩然来消息了,一年来头一回。
bzz嗡
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Night, the phone screen bright in the dark. The screen fills the panel: a chat with one long grey block on the left, made of tiny rows of something, too small to read; NO letters or numbers painted.
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Night, the phone's light on her face. Xiaoyu sits up in bed and scrolls with her thumb, frowning, puzzled, her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Her face in the middle of the panel. The blanket below is the quiet area.
No words. Only numbers. Thirty-two rows of forty-eight, from 0 to 255.一个字也没有,全是数。三十二行,每行四十八个,从0到255。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Night in Edinburgh, only the phone light and now the laptop's. Xiaoyu has jumped out of bed in her sky-blue hoodie and grey socks and kneels on the floor by the bed, flipping open her dark grey laptop, the phone in her other hand, her face lit up with an idea. Her face in the middle of the panel. The dark window above is the quiet area.
Nought is black. Two hundred and fifty-five is white.0是黑,255是白。
18
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Night in Edinburgh, the laptop the only light. Over Xiaoyu's shoulder (her ponytail at the bottom left, her face NOT seen), the laptop screen in the middle shows her chessboard program's window filling with a small grey picture made of visible square pixels, still half drawn, the top rows done and the bottom rows dark. NO letters on the screen. The dark wall above the screen is the quiet area.
I pasted them into my first program, the one that turned sixty-four numbers into a chessboard.我把它们贴进了我写的第一个程序,就是把六十四个数变成棋盘的那个。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. The finished picture on the screen, made of 48 by 32 visible grey square pixels, from black to white: a lake under a pale sky, an old stone bridge across it, a willow on the near shore, and under the willow two square stone tables, at one of which sit two tiny grey figures facing each other over a board. Simple and blocky but unmistakable. NO letters. The pale sky at the top of the picture is the quiet area.
The lake. The bridge. The stone tables. Two tiny grey men at a chessboard.湖。桥。石桌。棋盘两边,坐着两个小小的灰人。
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Night in Edinburgh, the laptop's grey light on her face. Xiaoyu, kneeling on the floor, looks at the screen off panel to the LEFT with tears running and a wide, wobbling smile. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her hoodie below is the quiet area.
THIS PANEL IS IN EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, NOT Bridge City: grey stone tenements and slate roofs by the grey North Sea, nothing Chinese outside the window. Night, the phone in Xiaoyu's hand, her black watch on her LEFT wrist at the edge. On the screen the handwriting box, with a few soft strokes of her finger-writing in it, and a pale bubble on the right she has just sent, NO letters painted.
Next: Chapter 7. Learning to See.下一章:第七章 老吴
I can see it.我看见了。
19

The ideas, a little slower

Some of this chapter was left to the pictures, so the quiet nights in the wee room could stay quiet. Here it is in words.

On page 1 the call freezes and Grandpa's face breaks into squares. A video call sends a new picture many times a second, and every picture is a long list of numbers. When the line is too slow, the numbers arrive late, and the phone shows big blocks of colour until the rest come in. Nowhere in that list is there a number that means "Grandpa", or "face", or even "stripe". A computer has to learn those, from the numbers alone.

On page 3 Ms Rennie draws three rows of white, black, white. Written as numbers that is 255, 0, 255, three times over. Many programs then shrink every number to lie between 0 and 1, which suits the arithmetic. Inside, a network does nearly all its work by multiplying and adding. That is why everything it meets, pictures, sounds and words, has to become numbers first.

On page 7 Grandpa's eight seconds become hills of orange. A microphone measures the air again and again, 44,100 times a second for music on a CD and often 16,000 for speech. That is about 128,000 numbers for his eight seconds. The picture of which notes are loud at each moment is called a spectrogram. Turning sound into a picture changed how computers hear. Machines that listen now often look at these pictures, much as other machines look at photos.

On page 8 the chat assistant gets everything wrong about Grandpa, and Xiaoyu remembers the toast from two years before. It said 70 characters, and she counted 51. The assistant never saw letters at all. Its words were cut into pieces called tokens, and each piece was swapped for an ID number. Counting the letters inside a number is hard when you were never shown them.

On page 9 Ms Rennie quotes a linguist called J. R. Firth, who wrote in 1957 that "You shall know a word by the company it keeps!" Words that turn up in the same places tend to mean similar things. The linguist Zellig Harris had said much the same in 1954. In 2013 Tomas Mikolov and his colleagues at Google turned this into a fast program called word2vec. It reads a vast amount of text and keeps guessing the neighbours of each word. Each time it guesses wrong it nudges the word's numbers a little, the way Papa's scores got a little less wrong in Chapter 5. When it is done it throws away the guessing and keeps the numbers. Those numbers are the word's place on the map.

On pages 14 and 15 Xiaoyu does a tiny version by hand. She counts which words turn up within three words of each other, and puts words with the same neighbours close together. Her map is a small cousin of the real thing. It shows how Grandpa uses his words, which is not quite the same as what they mean, and nobody can yet say how big that gap is.

On page 19 Haoran's numbers become the lake. Thirty-two rows of forty-eight is 1,536 numbers, a picture smaller than the smallest icon on a phone, and still enough to show two men at a chessboard.

What is true here

Three numbers for every dot

A colour picture keeps three numbers for each dot, for how much red, green and blue it has. A twelve-million-pixel phone photo is therefore about 36 million numbers. The list of numbers knows nothing about stripes or cats. Every one of those ideas has to be learned.

Pieces of words

Most chat assistants cut text into pieces with a method called byte-pair encoding. It starts from single letters and keeps gluing together the pairs that turn up most often, so a common word stays whole and a rare one is split, like "s", "low" and "est". In English one token is about three quarters of a word. GPT-2, from 2019, had 50,257 different pieces. Languages written in other scripts, Chinese among them, often need more tokens for the same meaning, and that can make an assistant slower, dearer and a little worse in them.

The famous sum

In 2013 researchers found something surprising in word maps. Take the place of "king", subtract "man", add "woman", and the nearest word is often "queen". Closeness on these maps is usually measured by the angle between two lists of numbers. In one small example, "king" and "queen" come out at about 0.78 and "man" and "queen" at about 0.22, where 1 would mean pointing the same way. The sum works less often than it first seemed, though. The usual test quietly leaves out the words you started with, and that flatters the results. Word maps also soak up the stereotypes in the text they learn from, and in 2016 a team showed that "man" is to "computer programmer" as "woman" is to "homemaker" on one of them.

One word, two meanings

A map like word2vec's gives each word one place only, so "bank" by a river and "bank" for money share a dot. The language models in later chapters give a word a different place each time, depending on the words around it.

Pictures and words on one map

The same trick works across kinds of things. In 2021 a system called CLIP put pictures and their captions on one map, so a photo of a dog lands near the words "a photo of a dog". Shops and music apps use maps like these to suggest what you might like next.

Where experts disagree

Some researchers think that knowing a word's company captures most of what it means. Others say a word also points at things in the world, at lakes and bowls and grandfathers, and a map of company alone can never reach them.

SourcesHinton, Deng, Yu and colleagues (2012), Deep neural networks for acoustic modeling in speech recognition, the shared views of four research groups.Radford, Kim, Xu, Brockman, McLeavey and Sutskever (2022), Robust speech recognition via large-scale weak supervision.Sennrich, Haddow and Birch (2016), Neural machine translation of rare words with subword units.Radford, Wu, Child, Luan, Amodei and Sutskever (2019), Language models are unsupervised multitask learners.Harris (1954), Distributional structure.Firth (1957), A synopsis of linguistic theory, 1930 to 1955.Mikolov, Chen, Corrado and Dean (2013), Efficient estimation of word representations in vector space.Mikolov, Sutskever, Chen, Corrado and Dean (2013), Distributed representations of words and phrases and their compositionality.Mikolov, Yih and Zweig (2013), Linguistic regularities in continuous space word representations.Nissim, van Noord and van der Goot (2020), Fair is better than sensational, man is to doctor as woman is to doctor.Bolukbasi and colleagues (2016), Man is to computer programmer as woman is to homemaker? Debiasing word embeddings.Radford, Kim, Hallacy and colleagues (2021), Learning transferable visual models from natural language supervision.Jurafsky and Martin (2026), Speech and Language Processing, 3rd edition draft.Goodfellow, Bengio and Courville (2016), Deep Learning.

What is pretend

Bridge City, Xiaoyu, Grandpa Chen, Mama, Papa, Haoran, Lili, Uncle Wu and Auntie Zhang. The school by the harbour, Ms Rennie and her coding club. The chat assistant and its offer to borrow Grandpa's voice, though apps that copy a voice from a short recording are real. The voice app that hears "lake" as "tiger", Xiaoyu's map of two hundred and twelve words, and Haoran's picture of the lake. Grandpa's illness is not drawn from any real person, and the story makes no medical claim.

Who made this

Yingying Fu created this manga. She chose the story and its people, directed every page, and edited every word and picture. The words were drafted with Claude, an AI by Anthropic. The pictures are made with AI image generation, painted panel by panel from her direction and checked and corrected by hand.

慢慢再讲一遍

这一章有些道理留给了画面,好让小屋里那几个晚上安静一点。这里用文字再讲一遍。

第一页,视频卡住了,外公的脸碎成了方块。视频电话每秒要传好多张图,每张图都是长长一串数。网一慢,数来晚了,手机只好先拿大色块顶着,等剩下的数到了再补上。这一串数里,没有哪个数是"外公",也没有哪个数是"脸",连"条纹"都没有。这些,电脑都得靠这堆数自己学出来。

第三页,伦尼老师画了三行,每行白、黑、白。写成数,就是255、0、255,写三遍。很多程序还会把每个数缩到0和1之间,算起来方便。网络里头干的活,差不多全是乘法和加法。所以不管碰到什么,图也好,声音也好,字也好,都得先变成数。

第七页,外公那八秒钟变成了一座座橙色的小山。麦克风一遍遍地量空气,CD上的音乐每秒量44100次,录说话常常是每秒16000次。外公那八秒,大约是十二万八千个数。把每一刻哪些音最响画出来,这张图叫"声谱图"。声音变成图,电脑听东西的办法就变了。现在好多会听的机器,其实是在看这种图,跟别的机器看照片差不多。

第八页,聊天助手对外公一无所知,小雨想起了两年前那段祝酒词。它说七十个字,她一数,五十一个。助手压根就没见过一个个的字。它拿到的话先被切成小块,叫"词元",每一块换成一个编号。连字都没见过,要它数里头有几个字,自然难。

第九页,伦尼老师引了语言学家弗斯一九五七年的一句话,"看一个词跟谁做伴,就知道它是什么意思!"常在同样地方出现的词,意思往往也相近。一九五四年,语言学家哈里斯也说过差不多的话。二〇一三年,谷歌的米科洛夫和同事把这个想法做成了一个很快的程序,叫word2vec。它读大量的文字,一遍遍地猜每个词旁边会出现哪些词。猜错一次,就把这个词的数调一点,跟第五章里爸爸的分数一点点变好一个道理。学完以后,猜的那部分扔掉,只留下这些数。这些数,就是这个词在地图上的位置。

第十四、十五页,小雨用手做了个小小的版本。她数哪些词常在彼此前后三个词以内出现,再把邻居相同的词放在一起。她这张地图,算是真家伙的一个小表亲。它画的是外公怎么用这些词,这跟词的意思不完全是一回事。差多少,到现在也没人说得准。

第十九页,浩然的数变成了那片湖。三十二行,每行四十八个,一共1536个数,比手机上最小的图标还小,可已经够看出棋盘边坐着两个人了。

哪些是真的

一个点三个数

彩色照片里,每个点存三个数,分别是红、绿、蓝各有多少。手机拍一张一千二百万像素的照片,就是大约三千六百万个数。这串数不知道什么是条纹,也不知道什么是猫。这些都得学。

把字切成小块

大多数聊天助手切字,用的是一种叫"字节对编码"的办法。它从单个字母开始,把最常挨在一起的两块一次次粘起来。所以常见的词能整个留下,少见的词就被拆开,比如英文里的"s""low""est"。英文里一个词元大约是四分之三个词。二〇一九年的GPT-2,一共有50257种小块。中文这样不用拉丁字母的文字,表达同样的意思往往要更多词元,助手用起来就更慢、更贵,有时也差一点。

那道有名的算术

二〇一三年,研究的人在词地图里发现了一件怪事。拿"国王"的位置,减去"男人",再加上"女人",离得最近的词常常是"王后"。地图上两个词近不近,一般看两串数之间的夹角。在一个小例子里,"国王"和"王后"算出来大约是0.78,"男人"和"王后"大约是0.22,1就是方向完全一样。不过这道算术灵的时候没有看上去那么多。常用的测法会悄悄把一开始那几个词排除在外,成绩就显得好看了。词地图还会把训练文字里的偏见一起学进去。二〇一六年有人发现,在一张词地图上,"男人"之于"程序员",就像"女人"之于"家庭主妇"。

一个词,两个意思

word2vec这样的地图,每个词只有一个位置。英文里河岸的"bank"和银行的"bank",只好挤在同一个点上。后面几章讲的语言模型,会看前后的词,每次给同一个词一个不同的位置。

图和字在同一张地图上

这个办法换个东西也能用。二〇二一年,一个叫CLIP的系统把图片和图片说明放到了同一张地图上,一张狗的照片,就落在"一张狗的照片"这几个字旁边。网店和听歌软件也用这种地图,猜你下一个会喜欢什么。

专家们还在争

有的研究者认为,知道一个词常跟谁做伴,差不多就知道了它的意思。也有人说,词还指着世上真有的东西,湖啊,碗啊,外公啊,光靠做伴画出来的地图,永远够不着它们。

出处Hinton, Deng, Yu and colleagues (2012), Deep neural networks for acoustic modeling in speech recognition, the shared views of four research groups.Radford, Kim, Xu, Brockman, McLeavey and Sutskever (2022), Robust speech recognition via large-scale weak supervision.Sennrich, Haddow and Birch (2016), Neural machine translation of rare words with subword units.Radford, Wu, Child, Luan, Amodei and Sutskever (2019), Language models are unsupervised multitask learners.Harris (1954), Distributional structure.Firth (1957), A synopsis of linguistic theory, 1930 to 1955.Mikolov, Chen, Corrado and Dean (2013), Efficient estimation of word representations in vector space.Mikolov, Sutskever, Chen, Corrado and Dean (2013), Distributed representations of words and phrases and their compositionality.Mikolov, Yih and Zweig (2013), Linguistic regularities in continuous space word representations.Nissim, van Noord and van der Goot (2020), Fair is better than sensational, man is to doctor as woman is to doctor.Bolukbasi and colleagues (2016), Man is to computer programmer as woman is to homemaker? Debiasing word embeddings.Radford, Kim, Hallacy and colleagues (2021), Learning transferable visual models from natural language supervision.Jurafsky and Martin (2026), Speech and Language Processing, 3rd edition draft.Goodfellow, Bengio and Courville (2016), Deep Learning.

哪些是虚构的

桥城、小雨、陈外公、妈妈、爸爸、浩然、丽丽、吴爷爷和张阿姨,都是编的。港口边那所中学、伦尼老师和她的编程社,也是编的。聊天助手和它说要借外公声音的那一段是编的,不过凭一小段录音就能学人声音的软件,现在真有。把"湖"听成"虎"的语音软件、小雨那张两百一十二个词的地图、浩然画的那片湖,也都是编的。外公的病不是照着哪个真人写的,故事也不作任何医学上的判断。

谁做了这本漫画

这本漫画由 Yingying Fu 创作。故事和人物由她决定,每一页由她导演,每一句话、每一幅画由她修改。文字是和 Anthropic 的人工智能 Claude 一起起草的。画面由人工智能生成,按她的要求一格一格地画,再逐张检查、修正。

© 2026 Yingying Fu. All rights reserved.© 2026 傅颖盈。保留所有权利。