Books书 When You Forget, I'll Remember你忘了,我记得

When You Forget, I'll Remember你忘了,我记得

Chapter 9. Attention第九章 注意力

A manga for grown-ups. Read it in English or Chinese.给大人看的漫画。可以用中文或英文读。

Summer dusk at the lake, the sky gold and rose, pink lotus on the still water, the willows dark against the sky. In the foreground on the RIGHT, Grandpa Chen in his grey cardigan sits alone at the square stone table with the chessboard set up for a game in front of him, two tall clear glasses of green tea on the table, one by him and one by the empty stone stool across from him. He sits very straight with his big hands resting on his knees, looking out across the lake towards the bridge, patient, waiting. Far off on the LEFT, small and dark against the gold water, the arched stone bridge with two young figures on it, a tall boy and a girl, too small to see their faces. Grandpa's face in three-quarter in the middle band. The gold sky above is the quiet area for the title.
Chapter 9第九章Attention注意力
Saturday afternoon at four, bright hazy summer light through the tall glass wall. Xiaoyu, sixteen, comes out through the arrivals sliding doors on the LEFT pulling a dark blue suitcase with her RIGHT hand, a small backpack on her back, her black watch on her LEFT wrist, looking round the hall over everyone's heads. On the RIGHT at the silver rail stands a tall young man in a white t-shirt holding a plain white card up at his chest in both hands; she looks straight past him. Two faces in the middle band, small. The tall glass wall and the white planes above are the quiet area.
Bridge City, July 2031. I had just turned sixteen. I'd come for the summer on my own, and Mama would follow in August.桥城,2031年7月。我刚满十六岁,一个人回来过暑假。妈妈八月才来。
Bright afternoon light. Two big hands hold a plain white card up by its top corners, at chest height; behind it a white t-shirt. The card is BLANK, nothing written on it; the name is lettered in afterwards. Above the card, only his chin.
XIAOYU 小雨XIAOYU 小雨
Bright afternoon light. Xiaoyu stops with her suitcase handle in her RIGHT hand and looks to the RIGHT and a little DOWN, at the height of a boy shorter than her, searching the few far-off people, puzzled. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
Haoran said he'd meet me. Where is he?浩然说好来接我的,人呢?
Bright afternoon. Haoran, seventeen, tall in his white t-shirt, has lowered the white card to his waist in both hands and grins down at Xiaoyu off panel to the LEFT, shy and pleased; his one white earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. The tall glass wall above him is the quiet area.
Xiaoyu. It's me.小雨,是我。
Bright afternoon. Xiaoyu looks UP and to the RIGHT at Haoran off panel, her mouth open, her hand still on the suitcase handle, too surprised to smile. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Her face in the lower middle of the panel. The white ceiling and glass wall above are the quiet area.
Haoran?浩然?
His video camera had been off for more than a year. I had walked straight past him.他一年多没开过摄像头。我从他面前走过去,愣是没认出来。
1
Saturday, half past five in the afternoon, warm low sun through the high window. Haoran climbs the last flight ahead, carrying her dark blue suitcase in his RIGHT hand; Xiaoyu follows two steps below him on the LEFT, her backpack on, looking up at the landing. Pot plants and a bicycle on the landing. Two faces in the middle band, his in three-quarter. The high window and the pale wall above are the quiet area.
In the spring we had started talking again. He had switched off the program that wrote Grandpa's messages, like I asked.开春以后,我们又说上话了。他听了我的,把那个程序关了,不再替外公写消息。
Late afternoon sun on the landing. Grandpa in his grey cardigan swings his dark green security gate open with his LEFT hand and beams to the RIGHT at Haoran off panel, delighted, easy. His glasses on their cord at his chest. His face in the middle of the panel. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Haoran! Are you back already?›浩然!回来啦?
Late afternoon sun. Grandpa's eyes move to the girl beside Haoran, a little lower, and his whole face lights up with joy. His face in the middle of the panel. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹And Huihui! You've come home!›慧慧!你也回来啦!
Late afternoon sun. In the open gateway Xiaoyu hugs Grandpa tight, both arms round him; he stands on the LEFT with his back half to us, his big hand patting her back. Her face rests on his shoulder towards us, smiling, her eyes wet. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist on his back. Her face in the middle band. The pale wall above is the quiet area.
Huihui is Mama's name. Grandpa knew Haoran, who was here every day. But he thinks I'm Mama.慧慧是妈妈的名字。浩然天天在跟前转,外公认得他。可我,他当成了妈妈。
Saturday evening, six o'clock, warm gold light from the balcony doors. Grandpa and Xiaoyu sit side by side on the beige sofa with its white lace covers, Grandpa on the LEFT holding her hand in both of his on his knee and talking, happy; Xiaoyu on the RIGHT listening, smiling. Her suitcase stands by the door. Two faces in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
I hadn't been back for four years. This summer I wanted every day with him, before he forgot me for good.我四年没回来了。这个夏天,我想天天陪着他,趁他还没把我忘干净。
2
Saturday evening, six o'clock, gold light. Auntie Zhang in her plum-red blouse stands by the front door on the LEFT with her cloth bag on her arm, ready to go home, counting on her fingers as she tells Xiaoyu how the days go. Xiaoyu on the RIGHT listens, then lifts her chin, sure of herself. Two faces in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
‹I come at eight and go at six. Mornings are his best time. In the evenings he gets muddled.›我早上八点来,六点走。他上午脑子最清楚,一到晚上就犯糊涂。
‹Then I'll take the evenings.›那晚上就交给我。
Evening, the landing bulb on. Lili, sixteen, in her red t-shirt, her tight high ponytail with its red tie, stands in Grandpa's open gateway holding a big round green watermelon against her hip with her RIGHT arm, grinning hugely, looking LEFT into the room. Her face in the middle of the panel. The watermelon and her t-shirt below are the quiet area.
‹Xiaoyu! It's been four whole years!›小雨!四年没见了!
Evening, warm lamplight now. Xiaoyu on the LEFT and Lili on the RIGHT hug, laughing, the watermelon put down on the round table beside them. Both faces in the upper middle, Lili's over Xiaoyu's shoulder towards us. Their backs and arms below are the quiet area.
Lili and I had written to each other every week for four years. She was my best friend now.这四年,我跟丽丽每个礼拜都通信。她成了我最好的朋友。
Evening lamplight. Lili on the RIGHT, her hands on Xiaoyu's shoulders at arm's length, grins sideways, teasing. Xiaoyu on the LEFT goes red and covers her cheek with her RIGHT hand, laughing. Two faces in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
‹Haoran says you walked right past him at the airport.›听浩然说,你在机场跟他擦肩而过,愣是没认出来?
‹He was a little boy when I left!›我走那会儿,他还是个小屁孩呢!
3
Monday morning, eight o'clock, bright summer sun through the balcony doors. Grandpa sits at the round folding table on the LEFT in his grey cardigan, his glasses on their cord at his chest. Xiaoyu has just come in from the kitchen and stands in the middle holding a tall clear glass of green tea in her RIGHT hand and a small bowl of rice porridge in her LEFT. On top of the glass cabinet on the RIGHT stands the small black-framed photo of young Grandma Meilan, facing the room. Two faces in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
Every morning I made his tea.每天早上,我都给他泡杯茶。
Bright morning light. Grandpa looks RIGHT, past Xiaoyu off panel, and gives a little nod across the room, gentle and sure, as if everyone knows what he means. His face in the middle of the panel. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Put it by her. She always gets the first glass.›给她端过去。头一杯,从来都是她的。
Bright morning light. Xiaoyu stands with the tall glass of tea in her RIGHT hand and the bowl of porridge in her LEFT, looking down at them, then away, puzzled, working it out. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt and the bowl below are the quiet area.
He said "glass", so "it" is the tea. But who is "her"?“头一杯”,那就是茶了。可“她”是谁呢?
Bright morning light. Xiaoyu has put the bowl down and sets the tall glass of green tea on top of the glass cabinet beside the small black-framed photo of young Grandma Meilan, with her RIGHT hand, looking at the photo with a soft smile. The photo faces her and the room; we see it from the side. Her face in three-quarter in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
I went over every word he'd said, and looked round the room. Then I knew he meant Grandma.我把他的话一个字一个字琢磨了一遍,又把屋里看了一圈,这才明白,他说的是外婆。
Bright morning. Grandpa sits at the round table and smiles, pleased, looking RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel; behind him on the RIGHT, on the glass cabinet, the tall glass of tea stands by Grandma's photo. His face in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
‹Good girl, Huihui.›慧慧真乖。
4
Monday, late morning, bright sun. Grandpa sits in his olive-green armchair on the LEFT with one small old picture booklet open in both hands, its open pages towards HIM and its faded cover towards us, his glasses ON his nose because he is reading; he laughs at himself. Xiaoyu sits on the arm of the sofa on the RIGHT, laughing with him. Two faces in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
‹By the bottom of the page, I've lost the top. Good thing it has pictures.›看到底下,上头就忘了。好在有画儿。
Monday afternoon, three o'clock, hot, gold light on the landing. Haoran stands outside Grandpa's dark green gate holding two ice lollies in his RIGHT hand, grinning, looking LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel; his earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. His white t-shirt below is the quiet area.
Shall we go to the lake tonight? It's cooler after dark.晚上去湖边吧?天黑了凉快。
Afternoon light. Xiaoyu stands inside the open gate, an ice lolly in her RIGHT hand, and glances back over her shoulder into the dim flat behind her. Her face in three-quarter in the middle of the panel. The dim doorway below is the quiet area.
Grandpa's on his own after six.六点以后,外公就一个人了。
Hot afternoon light. Haoran leans his forearm on the gate bars, the ice lolly forgotten and dripping, looking LEFT at Xiaoyu, serious now. His earbud in his LEFT ear. His face in the middle band. The high window and the pale wall above are the quiet area.
My dad's sending me to exam classes in the capital on the 20th. I've only got two weeks.我爸二十号就要送我去省城上补习班。我就剩两个礼拜了。
Hot afternoon. Xiaoyu inside the gate on the LEFT and Haoran outside it on the RIGHT, the bars between them. She has an idea and smiles at him; he smiles back. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Two faces in the middle band. The pale wall above is the quiet area.
He's asleep by nine. We can sit on the balcony, right outside his window.他九点就睡。咱们可以坐阳台上,就在他窗户外边。
5
Night, ten o'clock, the warm bare bulb on, a dark blue-green sky, a few warm lights on the river below. Haoran on the LEFT and Xiaoyu on the RIGHT sit on stools at the folding table, his silver sticker laptop open between them, its back half to us, its glow on their faces. Pot plants along the wall. Behind Xiaoyu, Grandpa's dark window. Two faces in the middle band. The dark sky above is the quiet area.
So at night, when Grandpa was asleep, we sat on the balcony our two flats shared.两家的阳台是连着的。于是每晚等外公睡下,我们就坐到阳台上。
I'm teaching my laptop to read. Look.我在教电脑读句子,你看。
Night, the bulb's warm light at the edge. The laptop screen: one line of words in a plain white box, with the cursor blinking at the end. NO letters painted; the words are lettered in afterwards.
What does "it" mean here?这个“它”,说的是哪个?
The cup didn't fit in the box because it was too big.杯子放不进盒子,因为它太大了。
Night, the laptop glow on her face. Xiaoyu looks LEFT at the screen off panel and laughs, as if it is too easy. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
It's the cup, obviously.杯子呗,这还用问?
Night. The same laptop screen: the same line in its white box, now with its last word changed, and a boy's finger on a key at the bottom edge. NO letters painted.
And now?那这样呢?
...Then it's the box.……那就是盒子了。
The cup didn't fit in the box because it was too small.杯子放不进盒子,因为它太小了。
Night, the bulb above. Haoran sits at the folding table and pushes his glasses up with one finger, pleased, looking RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel. His face in the lower middle of the panel. The dark sky above him is the quiet area for the box.
Old networks read one word at a time. By the end of a long sentence, they'd lost the start.以前的网络一次只读一个字。句子一长,读到后面,前面就忘了。
ONE WORD AT A TIME. To know what "it" means, you look at other words, sometimes far back. A network that reads one word at a time must carry the start along, and it fades.逐字阅读。要弄清“它”指什么,得看句子里别的字,有时还得往前看很远。逐字阅读的网络只能把前文一路记着往下走,走着走着,前文就淡了。
6
Night, the bare bulb, the river lights below. The camera has moved round: Xiaoyu sits on the LEFT, Haoran on the RIGHT, the laptop between them with its back to us. Xiaoyu smiles, thinking of someone; Haoran turns the laptop a little towards her, eager. Two faces in the middle band. The dark sky above is the quiet area.
Grandpa does that with his comics. He loses the top.外公看小人书也这样,看到后面忘了前面。
Mine isn't. Every word looks at all the other words at once.我这个不会。每个字同时看着其他所有的字。
Night. The laptop screen: the first line of words again, the one ending in
it → cup 80% box 10% big 6% the rest 4%它 → 杯子 80% 盒子 10% 大 6% 其余 4%
Night, the screen glow on her face. Xiaoyu leans in to look at the screen off panel on the LEFT, not laughing now, thoughtful. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
That's how I work out who Grandpa means.我猜外公说的是谁,也是这么猜的。
Night, the warm bulb. Haoran holds up one hand with the fingers spread as he explains, eager, looking LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel. His earbud in his LEFT ear is hidden on the far side of his head; the ear we see is bare. His face in the lower middle of the panel. The dark sky above is the quiet area for the box.
And the shares always add up to one. More for the cup means less for the box.而且分出去的加起来,总是一。杯子分得多,盒子就分得少。
ATTENTION. In today's language models, each word looks at every other word at once and shares out its attention among them. The shares add up to one. It learns where to look by practising.注意力。在今天的语言模型里,每个字都同时看向其他所有的字,把注意力分给它们,各份加起来正好等于一。该看哪里,是模型在训练中自己学会的。
Night, the bulb warm on them, a moth by the bulb. Haoran on the RIGHT still looks at the screen, talking. Xiaoyu on the LEFT has turned her head and looks at HIM, chin on her hand, a small smile. Two faces in the middle band. The dark sky and the bulb above are the quiet area.
I wasn't looking at the screen any more.我早就没在看屏幕了。
7
Saturday night, half past nine, warm and still, a dark blue sky with a thin moon, a few lamps along the path making gold pools on the water, the pink lotus dark on the lake, the willows black. Xiaoyu and Haoran walk side by side along the path towards the small arched stone bridge, Xiaoyu on the LEFT, Haoran on the RIGHT, their hands almost touching. Two faces small in the middle band. The night sky above is the quiet area.
After a week, Haoran wanted to show me the lake at night. Grandpa was asleep, so we went.一个礼拜后,浩然想带我去湖边看夜景。外公睡下了,我们就去了。
Night on the arched stone bridge, lamplight from below on his face, the dark lake behind. Haoran leans on the stone rail and looks LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel, shy, nervous. His earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. The stone rail below is the quiet area.
I've wanted to bring you here for four years.我想带你来这儿,想了四年了。
Night on the bridge, lamplight on her face. Xiaoyu looks RIGHT at Haoran off panel and laughs, teasing. Her face in the middle of the panel. The stone rail below is the quiet area.
Four years, just for a bridge?四年?就为了一座桥?
Night on the stone bridge, the lamps below and the black water behind. Haoran on the LEFT has stopped smiling and looks at her, gentle and serious; Xiaoyu on the RIGHT has stopped laughing and looks up at him, still. They stand close. Two faces in the middle band. The night sky above is the quiet area.
It wasn't for the bridge.不是为了桥。
Night. Seen from far across the still lake: the small arched stone bridge in the middle of the picture, and on top of it two small dark figures, a tall boy and a girl, kissing, their faces too small to see. The lamps make gold lines on the water; the bridge stands on both banks. The wide night sky above is the quiet area.
Our first kiss was on that stone bridge. I didn't think about the time once.我们的初吻,就在那座石桥上。那天晚上,我一次都没想起看时间。
8
Night, eleven o'clock, the landing bulb ON with a small warm glow, the high window black. Grandpa stands at his wide-open dark green gate on the LEFT in his white vest and dark trousers, no cardigan, his hands gripping the gate bars, frightened, peering down the stairs. Xiaoyu has just come up the last steps and stopped dead; Haoran is below her on the RIGHT. Three faces in the middle band. The black window and pale wall above are the quiet area.
We came back at eleven. Grandpa was standing at his open gate.我们十一点才回来。外公站在门口,铁门大开着。
Night, the bulb's warm light from above. Grandpa looks RIGHT, lost and afraid, his hands on the gate bars. His face in the middle of the panel. His white vest below is the quiet area.
‹It's dark, and Meilan isn't home.›天都黑了,美兰还没回来。
Night, the bulb above. Xiaoyu looks LEFT at Grandpa off panel, gentle and steady though her eyes are wet, reaching out with both hands. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
‹It's all right, Grandpa. I'm here. Let's go in.›外公,没事了,我在这儿呢。咱们进屋吧。
Night, the bulb's glow on the landing above him. Haoran stands three steps down with his RIGHT hand on the rail, looking up and LEFT at the gate, guilty and sorry; his earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle band. The stairwell wall above is the quiet area.
Xiaoyu, I'm sorry. I'll go.小雨,对不起。我先走了。
Midnight, only a small lamp on in the living room, the balcony doors dark. Grandpa sleeps in his olive-green armchair under a thin blanket, his face peaceful. Xiaoyu sits on the floor beside the chair with her knees up, holding his hand, awake, staring at nothing. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Two faces in the middle band. The dark wall above is the quiet area.
After that night, I stayed in every evening.从那以后,我每天晚上都在家待着。
9
A hot afternoon, three o'clock, dappled light under the willows, the lake bright with lotus behind. Grandpa sits at the square stone table on the LEFT in his grey cardigan and Haoran on the RIGHT in his white t-shirt, playing chess, each with his own pieces nearest him, a tall glass of tea by Grandpa. Haoran talks with his hands; Grandpa frowns at the board. Two faces in the middle band. The willows and the bright sky above are the quiet area.
So in the afternoons, Haoran came to the lake with Grandpa and me.于是每天下午,浩然就陪我和外公去湖边。
‹Grandpa Chen, my program reads every word in a sentence at the same time.›陈爷爷,我那个程序读句子,是所有字一起读的。
Dappled afternoon light. Grandpa looks RIGHT at Haoran off panel, one bushy eyebrow up, unimpressed, a knight held in his RIGHT hand. His glasses on their cord at his chest. His face in the middle of the panel. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹All at once? You're showing off.›一下子全读?你小子显摆呢。
Dappled afternoon light. Haoran laughs out loud, looking LEFT at Grandpa off panel, a hand on the back of his neck. His earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. His t-shirt below is the quiet area.
‹It's true, though!›真的!不骗您!
Hot afternoon, dappled light. Haoran sits at the RIGHT end of the stone table with his elbows on it, explaining with one finger raised, cheerful, looking LEFT at Grandpa off panel. His face in the lower middle of the panel. The willows above him are the quiet area for the box.
‹That's why my program can learn from a mountain of books.›所以它能从堆成山的书里学东西。
ALL AT ONCE. In 2017 a team at Google built a network out of attention alone, called the transformer. It works on every word at the same time, so it can learn from huge piles of text quickly.同时计算。2017年,谷歌的一个团队只用注意力搭建了一种网络,叫作“变换器”。它对所有的字同时计算,因此能很快从海量文本里学习。
Hot afternoon, dappled light. Grandpa holds up his empty tall tea glass in his RIGHT hand and turns RIGHT towards the bench off panel, calling out cheerfully. His face in the middle band. The willows above are the quiet area.
‹Huihui! Is there any more tea?›慧慧!还有茶没有?
10
Hot afternoon, half past three, shade under the willow. Lili on the LEFT sits on a stone bench with a paper cup of milk tea, looking at Xiaoyu sideways; Xiaoyu on the RIGHT unscrews the red-and-gold flowered thermos to fill Grandpa's glass. Far behind them, small, the stone table with Grandpa and Haoran. Two faces in the middle band. The willow branches above are the quiet area.
‹He still calls you by your mum's name?›他还管你叫你妈的名字啊?
Shade under the willow. Xiaoyu holds the thermos in both hands, looking down at it, a small sad smile. Her face in the middle of the panel. The thermos below is the quiet area.
‹Every day. Mama says on a really clear day, he gets my name right.›天天都这样。妈妈说,碰上他特别清醒的日子,才能叫对我的名字。
Shade under the willow. Lili looks RIGHT, past Xiaoyu, towards Haoran at the far table, her straw in her mouth, thoughtful. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her red t-shirt below is the quiet area.
‹And Haoran leaves on the 20th.›浩然二十号可就走了。
Hot afternoon, shade. Lili on the LEFT has turned to face Xiaoyu, kind and frank, one hand on Xiaoyu's arm. Xiaoyu on the RIGHT looks back at her. Two faces in the middle band. The willow branches above are the quiet area.
‹You can't be in two places at once, Xiaoyu.›小雨,你又不会分身。
Hot afternoon. From just behind Xiaoyu's RIGHT shoulder, the back of her head and her face in profile on the LEFT; far ahead on the RIGHT, small and sunlit, the stone table with Grandpa on one side and Haoran on the other, bent over the board. Her face in the middle band. The bright willows and sky above are the quiet area.
Attention always adds up to one. More for one person means less for the other.注意力加起来,总是一。这边多给一点,那边就少一点。
11
Saturday morning, eight o'clock, the brightest sun of the summer through the balcony doors. Grandpa sits at the round table on the LEFT, already dressed in his grey cardigan, his glasses ON his nose, setting out the chess pieces on the board with quick sure hands; his small red notebook lies CLOSED beside the board, its elastic band round it. Xiaoyu stands in the doorway of her little room on the RIGHT in her sky-blue t-shirt, sleepy, her hair loose, watching him. Two faces in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
Saturday the 19th was Grandpa's clearest day of the whole summer.十九号那个星期六,是外公整个夏天最清醒的一天。
Bright morning. Grandpa looks up from the board to the RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel, his eyes clear and bright, a warm sure smile, his glasses pushed down his nose. His face in the middle of the panel. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Xiaoyu! You're up. Come and sit.›小雨!起来啦。过来坐。
Bright morning. Xiaoyu stands very still in the doorway with one hand on the frame, looking LEFT at Grandpa off panel, her eyes wide, wide awake now. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
He called me Xiaoyu. That's my own name.他叫我小雨。叫的是我的名字。
Bright morning. Grandpa holds up a white pawn between finger and thumb of his RIGHT hand and taps the board with it, eager and proud, looking RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel. His face in the middle band. The cream wall above is the quiet area.
‹Three o'clock at the lake. I'll show you my first game with your grandma, from 1975.›下午三点,湖边见。我把跟你外婆下的头一盘棋摆给你看,七五年的。
Bright morning. Xiaoyu has sat down across the board on the LEFT and holds Grandpa's big hand on the table in both of hers, beaming; Grandpa on the RIGHT laughs. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Two faces in the middle band. The sunny wall above is the quiet area.
‹Three o'clock. I'll be there, Grandpa.›三点,外公,我一定去。
12
Saturday noon, hot white light from the high window. Haoran stands outside Grandpa's gate on the RIGHT, out of breath as if he ran up the stairs, his phone in his RIGHT hand at his side, upset. Xiaoyu inside the open gate on the LEFT looks at him, worried. Two faces in the middle band. The high window above is the quiet area.
My dad changed the date. I leave for the capital tomorrow, at six in the morning.我爸改日子了。明天早上六点我就得去省城。
Noon light. Haoran looks LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel, pleading, hopeful. His earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. His t-shirt below is the quiet area.
Come on the boat to the old town. We'll be back by seven.跟我坐船去古镇吧,七点前就回来。
Noon light. Xiaoyu looks RIGHT at Haoran off panel, torn, her hand on the gate. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
Grandpa asked me to come to the lake at three.外公叫我三点去湖边呢。
Noon light. Lili comes up the last stairs on the RIGHT with a plastic bag of red lychees in her LEFT hand, waving her RIGHT hand, cheerful; she has heard. Her face in the middle band. The stairwell wall above is the quiet area.
‹Go on. I'll sit with your grandpa. Auntie Zhang's here till six anyway.›去吧,你外公我来陪。反正张阿姨六点才走。
Noon, the bright living room. From just behind Xiaoyu's LEFT shoulder as she stands in the front doorway: the back of her head and her face in profile on the LEFT; across the room on the RIGHT, Grandpa at the round table bent over the chessboard, setting out pieces, happy and busy, his glasses on his nose. Her face in the middle band. The sunny wall above is the quiet area.
By three he'll have forgotten he asked me to come. He always forgets.到了三点,他早忘了叫过我。他每回都忘。
So I went.我就去了。
13
Saturday afternoon, half past one, hazy bright sun, a warm wind. On the open back deck under the faded blue awning, Xiaoyu on the LEFT leans on the white rail with the wind in her hair, laughing; Haoran on the RIGHT stands beside her, laughing too. A pale canvas tote bag over Xiaoyu's RIGHT shoulder. The wide green-brown river and the low green hills behind. Two faces in the middle band. The hazy sky above is the quiet area.
We took the boat up the river to the old town.我们坐船,去了上游的古镇。
Afternoon, four o'clock, warm light, white walls and black roofs behind. Haoran sits on the grey stone steps by the canal, holding up two fingers of his RIGHT hand as he explains, grinning, looking LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel. His earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. His t-shirt below is the quiet area.
Real models have lots of heads. Each head looks for something different.真正的模型有好多个“头”。每个头盯的东西都不一样。
Afternoon light, the green canal behind her. Xiaoyu laughs, looking RIGHT at Haoran off panel, an ice lolly in her RIGHT hand. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
Then I need two heads. One for you, one for Grandpa.那我得长两个头。一个看你,一个看外公。
Afternoon, four o'clock, warm light on the white walls, plain red lanterns, the jade-green canal and a tied wooden boat. Haoran sits on the stone steps on the RIGHT with his forearms on his knees, grinning, looking LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel. His face in the lower middle of the panel. The white walls and black roofs above are the quiet area for the box.
Two heads aren't enough. The first transformer had eight.两个哪够?最早的变换器就有八个。
MANY HEADS. The first transformer split each layer's attention into eight "heads". One head might follow who "it" is, while another watches the word just before.多头注意力。最早的变换器,每一层的注意力都分成八个“头”。一个头可能专门找“它”指的是谁,另一个头则盯着前一个字。
Afternoon light. Xiaoyu's phone in its pale sky-blue case lies face up in her open pale canvas tote bag on the grey stone step, its screen lit with an incoming call. NO letters painted; the words are lettered in afterwards.
Auntie Zhang calling张阿姨 来电
14
Afternoon light on the stone step. Xiaoyu's RIGHT hand turns her pale-blue phone face down on the grey stone. Her LEFT hand, with the black watch on its wrist, rests on her knee. Above, her face looks down at it, a flicker of unease, then away towards the canal. Her face in the upper middle, her hands in the lower half. The canal behind is the quiet area.
Auntie Zhang's call is probably about dinner. I'll ring her back later.张阿姨八成是问晚饭的事。等会儿再回她。
Evening, half past six, low gold light over the river. On the wooden bench under the faded blue awning, Xiaoyu sleeps with her head on Haoran's shoulder; Haoran sits still so as not to wake her, looking out at the gold water, happy. Two faces in the middle of the panel. The gold sky above is the quiet area.
On the boat home, I didn't look at my phone once.回来的船上,我一眼都没看手机。
Evening gold light. Xiaoyu's hand holds the pale-blue phone, her black watch on her LEFT wrist at the edge. On the screen a short list of grey rows and, below, one message bubble. NO letters or numbers painted.
Missed calls: Auntie Zhang (2), Lili (3). Lili: He's been waiting at the lake since three. Where are you?未接来电:张阿姨(2)丽丽(3)。丽丽:他三点就到湖边等你了,你在哪儿?
Saturday, a quarter past seven, the sun just down, the sky red-gold, the lake dark gold, the willows black. Xiaoyu runs along the lake path towards us, the tote bag flying from her shoulder, her face frightened; far behind her on the path, small, Haoran runs after her. Her face in the middle band. The red-gold sky above is the quiet area.
The boat got in at seven. I ran all the way to the lake.船七点靠岸。我一路跑去了湖边。
15
Dusk, the sky fading from gold to blue, the lake still. Uncle Wu in his white vest sits alone at the square stone table on the LEFT, slowly fanning himself with his palm-leaf fan. On the table the chessboard is set up in the middle of a game, and two tall glasses of tea stand on it, one by the empty stone stool on the RIGHT, still full. Xiaoyu has just run up on the RIGHT, out of breath, one hand on the table's edge. Two faces in the middle band. The fading sky and the willows above are the quiet area.
Grandpa had gone home. Uncle Wu was still at the table.外公已经回去了。吴爷爷还坐在石桌边。
Dusk light. Xiaoyu looks LEFT at Uncle Wu off panel, breathless, frightened. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
‹Grandpa Wu! Is Grandpa all right?›吴爷爷!我外公没事吧?
Dusk light. Uncle Wu looks RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel, his fan still now, not scornful, steady and quiet. His face in the middle of the panel. His white vest below is the quiet area.
‹He's fine. Auntie Zhang took him home at six. He was tired.›没事。六点张阿姨接他回去了,他累了。
Dusk, blue light. On the pale stone table, the chessboard with its pieces set out in the middle of a game, and beside it on the empty side a tall clear glass of green tea, full to the top, the leaves sunk, untouched; a fallen willow leaf on the stone. Uncle Wu's hand with the palm-leaf fan rests at the LEFT edge. No faces. The dark stone around is quiet.
‹He set out your grandma's game, move by move. At three he poured you a glass.›你外婆那盘棋,他一步一步全摆出来了。三点钟,还给你倒了杯茶。
Dusk, the last light on his round face, the dark lake behind. Uncle Wu looks RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel, gentle and sad, his fan lowered to his knee. His face in the middle of the panel. His white vest below is the quiet area.
‹He asked for you all afternoon. He said your name right every time.›他问了你一下午。每回叫你的名字,都叫对了。
16
Dusk turning to night, the first lamps coming on along the path. Xiaoyu has sunk down on the empty stone stool across the board, her hands in her lap, staring at the set pieces; Uncle Wu sits on the LEFT, fanning slowly, looking at her. Far back on the path on the RIGHT, Haoran has stopped, his hands at his sides. Three faces in the middle band, Haoran's small. The dark sky above is the quiet area.
I told myself he'd forget he'd asked me. He remembered all afternoon.我还跟自己说,他会忘了叫过我。可他记了一整个下午。
Dusk, a path lamp behind him. Haoran looks LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel, stricken, sorry. His earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. His t-shirt below is the quiet area.
Xiaoyu, I'm so sorry.小雨,真的对不起。
Dusk. Xiaoyu looks down at the chessboard, not at Haoran, her eyes wet, her voice quiet and steady. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
You didn't make me go. I chose to.不是你逼我去的。是我自己选的。
Night coming, the path lamps on, the lake black. Uncle Wu on the LEFT reaches across and pats the back of Xiaoyu's hand once with his own, kind, nodding towards the blocks of flats. Xiaoyu on the RIGHT looks up at him. Two faces in the middle band. The dark sky above is the quiet area.
‹Go on up. Your grandpa might still be awake.›上去吧。你外公说不定还没睡。
17
Lamplight. Saturday night, eight o'clock, one small lamp on. Xiaoyu kneels beside Grandpa's olive-green armchair and looks LEFT at him off panel, holding his hand, her face wet. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
‹Grandpa. It's Xiaoyu. I'm back.›外公,是小雨。我回来了。
Lamplight. Grandpa opens his eyes halfway and smiles sleepily down to the RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel, fond, foggy. His face in the middle of the panel. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹Huihui... You're back so late.›慧慧……怎么这么晚才回来。
Lamplight. Grandpa on the LEFT has closed his eyes again, his big hand loose in hers. Xiaoyu kneels on the RIGHT holding his hand against her cheek with both hands, crying without a sound. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Two faces in the middle band. The dim wall above is the quiet area.
‹I know. I'm sorry I'm late.›嗯。对不起,我回来晚了。
Night, the one lamp, the rest of the room dark. Seen from across the room: Grandpa asleep in the armchair and Xiaoyu kneeling beside it with her head resting on the arm of the chair, both small in the circle of lamplight. On the glass cabinet, the morning's glass of tea still stands by Grandma's photo. Their faces small in the middle band. The dark room above is the quiet area.
His clear day was over.他清醒的那一天,就这么过去了。
18
Sunday, six in the morning, the first grey-pink light in the high window, the landing bulb off. Haoran stands by his family's open door on the RIGHT with a big backpack on and a sports bag in his LEFT hand. Xiaoyu stands in Grandpa's doorway on the LEFT, in her t-shirt, her arms folded against the early cool, her eyes tired. Two faces in the middle band. The high window above is the quiet area.
‹Haoran! The car's here!›浩然!车来了!
Dawn light. Haoran looks LEFT at Xiaoyu off panel, his backpack straps in his hands, a small unsure smile. His earbud in his LEFT ear, on the viewer's right. His face in the middle of the panel. His t-shirt below is the quiet area.
I'll call every night, with my camera on.我每天晚上都跟你视频,摄像头开着。
Dawn light. Xiaoyu looks RIGHT at Haoran off panel and gives a small, tired smile. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her folded arms below are the quiet area.
Keep your camera on.说好了,摄像头别关。
Dawn, the grey-pink light stronger. The landing is empty now, Haoran gone down the stairs. Xiaoyu pulls Grandpa's dark green gate shut with her RIGHT hand and looks back into the flat behind her, towards Grandpa. Her face in three-quarter in the middle band. The high window above is the quiet area.
Attention always adds up to one. That Saturday, I had given all of mine to Haoran.注意力加起来,总是一。那个星期六,我全给了浩然。
19
An August afternoon, three o'clock, dappled light, lotus on the bright lake. Grandpa sits on the LEFT and Xiaoyu on the RIGHT at the square stone table, playing chess, each with their own pieces nearest them, a tall glass of tea by each of them. Uncle Wu sits at the far side between them on a stool, fanning, watching the board. Three faces in the middle band. The willows and the bright sky above are the quiet area.
After that, I was at the stone table at three o'clock every afternoon.从那以后,每天下午三点,我都在石桌边坐着。
Dappled afternoon light. Grandpa sets down a knight with his RIGHT hand and looks RIGHT at Xiaoyu off panel, a sly warm smile. His glasses on their cord at his chest. His face in the middle of the panel. His cardigan below is the quiet area.
‹It's your move, Huihui.›该你了,慧慧。
Dappled afternoon light. Xiaoyu looks LEFT at Grandpa off panel and smiles, gentle, a little sad, her fingers on a pawn. Her black watch on her LEFT wrist. Her face in the middle of the panel. Her t-shirt below is the quiet area.
‹It's my move, Grandpa.›该我了,外公。
A summer evening, the sun going down, the sky gold and rose, pink lotus on the still lake. Far across the water, small under the willows on the RIGHT, two figures sit at the stone table bent over the board, an old man and a girl, their faces too small to see. On the LEFT the small arched stone bridge stands empty, landing on both banks. The gold sky above is the quiet area.
There were other good days that summer. None of them was as clear as that Saturday.那个夏天,他也还有过不错的日子。可再没有哪一天,像那个星期六那样清醒。
Next: Chapter 10. The Helper.下一章:第十章 助手
20

The ideas, a little slower

This chapter left a lot to the pictures, so the stone table could stay quiet. Here is the idea in words.

On page 4 Grandpa says "Put it by her." Xiaoyu is holding two things, so "it" could be either. The word "glass" later in his sentence tells her it is the tea, and only the whole room tells her who "her" is. The meaning of one word depends on other words, sometimes far away from it. Every language model has to solve this, all the time.

On page 6 Haoran tries "The cup didn't fit in the box because it was too big", then changes "big" to "small". One word at the end changes what "it" means. Older networks read a sentence one word at a time and carried what they had read along with them, like a person who keeps a running note in their head. In a long sentence the beginning faded, the way Grandpa loses the top of a comic page by the bottom. Better designs, such as the LSTM, held on longer, but they still had to read in order.

On page 7 Haoran's program does something different. Every word looks at every other word, all at once, and asks how much each one matters to it. "It" looks hard at "cup", a little at "box", hardly at all at "the". Haoran's numbers are made up for the story, but real models work this way. Each word ends up as a mix of the words it paid attention to. The shares always add up to one, so a word cannot give more to "cup" without giving less to something else. Nobody tells the model where to look. It learns that while practising its one job, guessing words.

On page 10 Haoran says his program reads every word at the same time. That sounds like showing off, as Grandpa says, but it is the reason transformers took over. A network that reads in order has to wait for word one before it can start on word two. A transformer works on all the words together, which is the kind of sum a computer's graphics chips are built to do very fast. So it can practise on a mountain of books in days instead of years.

On page 14 Haoran says real models have many heads. Each head is a separate set of attention, with its own idea of what matters. One may learn to match "it" to the thing it stands for, while another watches the word just before. A large model stacks dozens of layers, each with many heads, so the words look at each other again and again and understand a little more each time.

What is true here

Looking back

Attention began in translation. In 2014 Dzmitry Bahdanau, Kyunghyun Cho and Yoshua Bengio let a translating network, as it wrote each word, look back over the whole sentence it was translating and pick out the words that mattered most. The paper was published in 2015. Three years later the trick had become the whole machine.

Attention is all you need

In 2017 a team at Google published a paper with that title. They dropped the old read-in-order network entirely and built one from attention alone, which they called the transformer. Their larger model trained in three and a half days on eight graphics chips and beat the best translation systems of the time. Almost every large language model since has been a transformer.

Which way it looks

Haoran's little program looks both ways, so "it" can see "big" at the end of the sentence. A model called BERT, from Google in 2018, worked like that, by filling in hidden words using the words on both sides. The chat assistants that write messages, like the one in the last chapter, only look back. Each word can see itself and the words before it, because when the model is choosing the next word, the words after it have not been written yet.

Bigger and bigger

The next step was to give a transformer an enormous pile of ordinary writing and let it practise guessing the next word, with no one marking the answers, because the text marks itself. GPT-2 in 2019 had one and a half billion numbers to tune. GPT-3 in 2020 had 175 billion. Researchers found the guessing gets better smoothly and predictably as models, data and computing grow together, and in 2022 a team at DeepMind showed that many big models had been trained on too little text for their size.

Not a spotlight

The word "attention" makes it sound as if the model is paying attention the way a person does. It isn't. It is a sum, a weighted average with weights it has learned. Nobody inside is looking. The weights also don't fully explain why a model said what it said. They show where information was mixed from, in one layer and one head, which is only part of the story. When Grandpa says Xiaoyu's name right, that is a person paying attention, and it is a different thing.

SourcesBahdanau, Cho and Bengio (2015), Neural machine translation by jointly learning to align and translate.Vaswani and colleagues (2017), Attention is all you need.Hochreiter and Schmidhuber (1997), Long short-term memory.Devlin, Chang, Lee and Toutanova (2019), BERT, pre-training of deep bidirectional transformers for language understanding.Radford, Narasimhan, Salimans and Sutskever (2018), Improving language understanding by generative pre-training.Radford, Wu, Child, Luan, Amodei and Sutskever (2019), Language models are unsupervised multitask learners.Brown and colleagues (2020), Language models are few-shot learners.Kaplan and colleagues (2020), Scaling laws for neural language models.Hoffmann and colleagues (2022), Training compute-optimal large language models.

What is pretend

Bridge City, Xiaoyu, Grandpa Chen, Haoran, Lili, Uncle Wu, Auntie Zhang and Mr Chen are made up. So are Haoran's reading program and its percentages, the river boat, the canal town and the 1975 game. The story is set a few years from now. Grandpa's memory is drawn from no one in particular, and the story makes no medical claim. People whose memory comes and goes really do have clearer days and harder ones, and many families find the evenings harder. Nobody can say when a clear day will come, which is why it is worth being there.

Who made this

Yingying Fu created this manga. She chose the story and its people, directed every page, and edited every word and picture. The words were drafted with Claude, an AI by Anthropic. The pictures are made with AI image generation, painted panel by panel from her direction and checked and corrected by hand.

慢慢再讲一遍

这一章不少话交给了画面,好让石桌边那几页安安静静的。这里再用文字讲一遍。

第4页,外公说“给她端过去”。小雨手里端着两样东西,说哪样都通。后面那句“头一杯”,才让她知道是茶;至于“她”是谁,得把整间屋子看一圈才明白。一个词是什么意思,要看它周围的词,有时那个词还离得挺远。语言模型每时每刻都要解这道题。

第6页,浩然先打了“杯子放不进盒子,因为它太大了”,又把“大”改成“小”。只改了句末一个字,“它”指的就换了。早先的网络一次只读一个字,边读边把读过的内容带着往下走,好比人一边读一边在心里记账。句子一长,开头就淡了,跟外公看小人书一样,看到下面,忘了上面。后来出现了更好的设计,比如LSTM(长短期记忆网络),记得更久,但仍然只能按顺序一个字一个字地读。

第7页,浩然的程序换了个思路。每个字同时看向其他所有的字,掂量每个字对自己有多重要。“它”重点看“杯子”,稍微看看“盒子”,别的字几乎不看。浩然那几个百分比是编的,但真实的模型确实这样工作。每个字最后都变成它所关注的那些字按比例混合的结果。分出去的注意力加起来总是等于一,所以给“杯子”多一点,别处就得少一点。该看哪里,没有人教。模型只练一件事,就是猜字,看哪里是它在练习中自己学会的。

第10页,浩然说他的程序是所有字一起读的。外公说他显摆,可变换器能后来居上,靠的正是这一点。按顺序读的网络,必须等第一个字处理完,才能处理第二个。变换器把所有的字放在一起算,这种计算恰好是显卡最擅长的。所以它几天就能练完堆成山的书,不必花上好几年。

第14页,浩然说真正的模型有很多个“头”。每个头是一套独立的注意力,各有各的侧重。一个头也许学会了把“它”和它指代的东西对上,另一个头则专门盯着前一个字。大模型叠了几十层,每层又有很多个头,字与字之间一遍遍地互相看,每看一遍,理解就深一层。

哪些是真的

回头看

注意力最早用在机器翻译上。2014年,巴赫达瑙、赵庆贤和本吉奥让翻译网络每译出一个词,都回头把原句整个看一遍,挑出最相关的几个词。论文在2015年正式发表。不到三年,这个小技巧就撑起了整台机器。

你只需要注意力

2017年,谷歌的一个团队发表了一篇论文,题目就是这句话。他们彻底抛开按顺序读的老式网络,只用注意力搭了一种新网络,取名“变换器”。其中较大的那个模型在8块显卡上训练了三天半,就超过了当时最好的翻译系统。此后,几乎所有的大语言模型都是变换器。

往哪边看

浩然的小程序两头都看,所以“它”能看到句末的“大”。谷歌2018年推出的BERT就是这样,它练的是填空,遮住几个字,让它看着两边的字去猜。会写消息的聊天助手,比如上一章那个,只看前文。每个字只能看到自己和前面的字,因为模型挑下一个字的时候,后面的字还没写出来。

越做越大

下一步,是把海量的普通文字交给变换器,让它练习猜下一个字。不需要人来批改,因为答案就在文字本身里。2019年的GPT-2有15亿个参数要调,2020年的GPT-3有1750亿个。研究者发现,模型、数据和算力一起增长,猜字的本事就会平稳提高,提高多少事先也算得出来。2022年,DeepMind的一个团队又指出,许多大模型就其规模而言,训练用的文字太少了。

不是聚光灯

“注意力”这个词,听起来好像模型像人一样在用心看。其实不是。它只是一道算术,一个用学来的权重求的加权平均,里面没有谁在看。这些权重也不能完全解释模型为什么那样回答。它们只说明在某一层、某一个头里,信息是从哪些字混合过来的,这只是原因的一部分。外公把小雨的名字叫对,那才是一个人在用心,是另一回事。

出处Bahdanau, Cho and Bengio (2015), Neural machine translation by jointly learning to align and translate.Vaswani and colleagues (2017), Attention is all you need.Hochreiter and Schmidhuber (1997), Long short-term memory.Devlin, Chang, Lee and Toutanova (2019), BERT, pre-training of deep bidirectional transformers for language understanding.Radford, Narasimhan, Salimans and Sutskever (2018), Improving language understanding by generative pre-training.Radford, Wu, Child, Luan, Amodei and Sutskever (2019), Language models are unsupervised multitask learners.Brown and colleagues (2020), Language models are few-shot learners.Kaplan and colleagues (2020), Scaling laws for neural language models.Hoffmann and colleagues (2022), Training compute-optimal large language models.

哪些是虚构的

桥城、小雨、陈外公、浩然、丽丽、吴爷爷、张阿姨和浩然的爸爸,都是虚构的。浩然的读句子程序和那几个百分比、那条船、那个古镇,还有1975年那盘棋,也都是编的。故事发生在几年以后。外公的记性不是照着哪个真人写的,故事也不做任何医学判断。记性时好时坏的人,确实有清醒的日子,也有糊涂的日子,许多家庭也觉得傍晚更难熬。清醒的日子哪天来,谁也说不准,所以能陪,就多陪陪。

谁做了这本漫画

这本漫画由 Yingying Fu 创作。故事和人物由她决定,每一页由她导演,每一句话、每一幅画由她修改。文字是和 Anthropic 的人工智能 Claude 一起起草的。画面由人工智能生成,按她的要求一格一格地画,再逐张检查、修正。

© 2026 Yingying Fu. All rights reserved.© 2026 傅颖盈。保留所有权利。